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Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

Parenting Teenagers Today

Monday, April 16th, 2012

The thought of parenting a teenager today is enough to make some people think that maybe they don’t want children at all. Parenting teens is often filled with turmoil and stress.

The first thing a parent needs to recognize is that the focus for teen parenting is different than raising a child. The child needs to learn the basics, so to speak, the ‘how to’ of life: reading, social skills and such. They need to learn how to become independent while conforming to a group.

Parenting, then, becomes a fine line to walk between letting the teen make decisions that can affect the rest of his life and establishing and maintaining guidelines as they make those choices. This is no easy feat. The parents need to evaluate the guidelines to determine whether they are in place for the teen’s sake or for their own needs.

Parenting the child means having total control over all of the child’s aspects of life. Parenting the teenager means letting go of that control. This in itself is scary for many parents.

The key to parenting the teenager is recognizing that while there will be conflict; it does not have to be destructive. There are many things the parent can do that will allow the teen the freedom she needs while still preserving the boundaries and values that will keep her protected.

The parents of teens need also remember that despite what their teen may say, they one of the greatest influences in their teens life. It is therefore absolutely necessary that the parents spend as much time as possible with their teen. So be certain to spend quality time with the teenager listening to what she has to say. Don’t react with shock or disapproval at the things they say. Instead ask them how they feel and why.

Parents need to help the teenager evaluate what the consequences in the future might be from the choices they make. Parents also need to share their own values and why they feel the way they do during these conversations.

So parent of a teenager do not despair. Rather that dreading this time in your child’s life, remember that your job as her parent is to prepare her for life on her own. There is no greater reward than that.

Good Parenting Advice For You To Be A Parent

Thursday, March 19th, 2009

Parenting is the hardest, most important job most people will encounter and now there is no licence required, no training required, and no 24/7 hotline. This is rather short-sighted on the part of society as the cost of bad parenting is broad. While no training is required for new parents, it is very easy for parents to learn the ways of good parents as well as the traps of bad parents. All it takes for parents to study more about parenting is to watch, listen, and learn.

Watching is a key element to learning more about parenting. Watch the parents around you and you can learn all sorts of lessons about how to interact with your child, how to discipline your child, and how to teach your child. Almost everywhere you take your child there will be other parents and their children. Watching means observing but also listening. Hear the tone of voice as well as the words those parents use. Some parents use the right words but their tone and physical manner contradicts those words. Watch the children to note their response. Some children respond more readily to their parents. Why? What is different about that parent-child relationship? What can you take away for your own parent-child relationship?

Listen to advice. You don’t need to take every piece of advice that is offered to you. After all, there are many people who are free with advice and yet have clearly demonstrated they are in no position to offer it. However, there is often some really good advice shared by people you know and trust as well as good advice offered by passing strangers in the supermarket checkout line or in the stands at a soccer game. Be a sponge. Keep your ears open. You don’t have to take that advice but keeping your options open gives you the chance to sort out the jewels and benefit from them.

Be an active learner. Seek out information when you face a parenting challenge. Perhaps your child is acting out in a new way and your old discipline technique isn’t working. Search the internet, flip through parenting books, and ask some experts in your circle of friends. Sometimes great advice will come to you but other times you will need to seek it out. The more proactive you are about finding solutions to your parenting problems then the better parent you will become.

Parenting is a challenging matter. Some times parents are forced in a hard unpopular position but in the end good parenting comes with its own awards. Those awards include a happy, successful child and a warm, loving relationship that will extend long past childhood and span the rest of your life. By watching, listening, and learning, you can be the parent you want to be and your child deserves.